


Bedrock of Reality

by SteelAndWings



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Divergent, M/M, Not THAT Demon!Dean, demonic torture, reality confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-17 16:02:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3535517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteelAndWings/pseuds/SteelAndWings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean falls and finds a way back to his knives.  Castiel does what he always does - trusts in the Righteous Man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bedrock of Reality

**Author's Note:**

> I had the random idea about Demon!Dean in Hell, doing what he was taught, and Cas losing his understanding of reality as things moved forward. It's more of a drabble, but it felt too big to really earn that tag. Enjoy.

Castiel wakes up in utter terror, his reality shaping around him. He has no idea how long he has been unconscious, if that’s even the true term for what he’s been. The only thing in his existence is that he is sure of is that the nightmares won’t stop plaguing him. Dreams of carnage and darkness, of green eyes turned onyx, and a gentle touch turning into a slash. He has relived, over and over in his mind, the possibility of his failure - of the loss of the Righteous Man, the purest soul he had known. The loss of the world and corruption of all.

He tries to tear his eyes open, to breathe in the light and the joyousness that comes with a new dawn, but he is still cast in the shadows. The Angel of the Lord whips his head from one side to the other in desperation. After a moment, he realizes that he must face the truth. The darkness is inescapable. It is his reality now. The coldness and the sorrow and the deep blinding fear are all a part of this and he has no hopes of freedom. This is where he is meant to be.

Under Dean Winchester’s knife.

"Did you have sweet dreams, baby bird?" He purrs in Castiel’s ear and the Angel tries desperately to break his restraints. It is nothing more than that - a desperate plea that makes mocking laughter come from the demon’s throat. "It was too hard to wake you. You looked so peaceful…"

"Please, Dean," and Castiel almost doesn’t recognize his voice as he whimpers into the air. How long has he been here? How long as Dean kept him? "You are above this. More than."

"Above my nature, angel?" He snarls and there is something that is forcing a whimper from Castiel. A knife or a claw or something. Something…demonic. Unholy "This is what I was made for."

"No." Castiel tries his best to sound sure of himself. Because it is not the man before him that he doubts - it is his own weakness. "You are more than this, Dean."

"Because your mind told you that?" Dean laughs again. "Because your story is just so much better? Be an adult, Castiel,” he spits. ”This is what I am. I don’t need to be more - I’m damned good here.”

For a long moment, Castiel holds his breath as his face twists. He gathers every part of his strength to keep the sounds inside him, to keep from crying and screaming and lashing out against the cut of Dean’s tools. He has bowed and broken so much already, he refuses to lose this battle too.

"Dean," He gasps around the pain, his eyes squinting behind whatever binding there is there. For a moment, he has the horrifying realization that his eyes might simply be missing. "Please, Dean, you know me."

"Castiel," he proclaims, laughter behind his vocal chords. "Angel of Orphans and Thursdays -"

"You’re an orphan," Cas cries out. "I raised you from this place and put your body back together. You walked again on a Thursday."

"Did I, cherub?" He growls and now, now Castiel can hear the difference. He can hear Dean’s anger and uncertainty and he can feel that the pain is no longer about torture - it’s about breaking him. "Or did you dream it all up in that pretty little head? No Righteous Man to fight your war, no little brother sucking down demon blood. Just an angel who failed and the demon who tethered him." 

"You’re not a demon, Dean." And Castiel is hanging to that thought, gripping it like it’s the Word of God, like it’s the only way to get Dean out of this place. There’s a desperation in him now and the angel is making no excuses for it. "I don’t know what this is and I don’t know where we are, but I saved you, Dean. I rose you and gave you something more. Dean, I - "

"No! You did nothing," the demon growls. "You left me here. Just like everyone else. I screamed and I cried and I begged and in the end, it was just me. Just like it should be." And there is something in his voice, something that isn’t strong or sure. Castiel thinks he hears Dean tremble. "But now you’re here, angel. You’re trapped like I am and you are mine."

The angel takes a deep breath and wets his chapped lips. ”I have always been yours, Dean. Whatever is real, whatever world is actually our existence, you are not alone. You were searched for and you were missed and there are beings that would have died to free you from here.” For a moment, his mind moves to Sam, but he can not think upon the younger Winchester. Not in this moment. The strength given by the thought of Sam Winchester had to be reserved for when Cas' own strength failed him. Castiel lets out a shaking breath and steadies himself. ”You are not alone, Dean Winchester. I would never let you be.”

The silence is so thick, so utterly consuming, that Castiel worries he has slipped into unconsciousness again and his mind slowly stars to unravel. Is he retreating to a fictional world that gives him comfort, as the demon taunted? Is he waking from a nightmare or does he live in one? Are they both still trapped because of Castiel's failures?

After a long moment, Castiel feels pressure on his chin. It’s soft, almost gentle, but total. Flat. The tickling of hair at his nose makes him suspect that it is Dean’s forehead. ”Cas?” he whispers into the abyss.


End file.
